Joke of the Day

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  • Umshahd
    عضو منتسب
    • Jan 2007
    • 159

    Joke of the Day

    <p class="MsoNormal" dir="rtl" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left" align="right"><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 20pt; color: fuchsia; mso-fareast-font-family: nsimsun">One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty dollars," the dentist says. "That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60." Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!" "Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20." "Nope," moans the man it's still too much." "Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10." "Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"<img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /></span><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-size: 20pt; color: fuchsia; mso-fareast-font-family: nsimsun"><p></p></span></p>
  • عبدالمجيد العبيدي
    عضو مؤسس_أستاذ جامعي
    • May 2006
    • 469

    #2
    _MD_RE: Joke of the Day

    <font face="Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#0000ff" size="4"><p align="left"><br />Thank you Mrs Umshahd for this witty joke.<br /><br />Here is one which is REAL.<br /><br />During one my lectures, this last term, to BIS &amp; CE students, I asked them to give me the way the English language call the person who comes from the country I mentioned to them; and when I asked one student 'How do you call the person who comes from Libya?' He answered: '<font color="#ff0000"><strong>Lesbian</strong></font>'!! <img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e5e7563a.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e5e7563a.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e5e7563a.gif" /><br /><br /><br /><font style="background-color: #ffff00">NB: I do aplogise on this student's behalf to our dear brothers, the great warriors, the honorable Libyans.</font></p></font>
    د/ عبد المجيد العبيدي
    لَعَمْـرُك ما الإنسانُ إلاّ بدينه  فلا تترُك التّقوى اتّكالا على النسبْ
    فقد رفعَ الإسلامُ سلمانَ فارسٍ  وقد وضع الشركُ الشريفَ أبا لهبْ

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    • Umshahd
      عضو منتسب
      • Jan 2007
      • 159

      #3
      _MD_RE: Joke of the Day

      <img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><font size="5"><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><font color="#ff0000">Thank you DR for your  real joke but the question is did you explain him the meaning of his rude word?</font></font>

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      • عبدالمجيد العبيدي
        عضو مؤسس_أستاذ جامعي
        • May 2006
        • 469

        #4
        _MD_RE: Joke of the Day

        <font face="Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#0000ff" size="5">Honestly, I didn't, because the class was mixed: boys and girls. Some, who did not understand its meaning, asked me about it. I told them to refer themselves to any English dictionary</font>.
        د/ عبد المجيد العبيدي
        لَعَمْـرُك ما الإنسانُ إلاّ بدينه  فلا تترُك التّقوى اتّكالا على النسبْ
        فقد رفعَ الإسلامُ سلمانَ فارسٍ  وقد وضع الشركُ الشريفَ أبا لهبْ

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        • Umshahd
          عضو منتسب
          • Jan 2007
          • 159

          #5
          _MD_RE: Joke of the Day

          <p class="MsoNormal" dir="rtl" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center" align="center"><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 18pt; color: red">Male Translation<p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="rtl" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center" align="center"><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 18pt; color: red"><p> </p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="rtl" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left" align="right"><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: blue; font-family: arial">"I'M GOING FISHING" <p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="rtl" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left" align="right"><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #ff6600; font-family: arial">Translated: "I'm going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." <br /><br /></span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: blue; font-family: arial">"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" </span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #ff6600; font-family: arial">Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"</span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #9933ff; font-family: arial"> </span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: blue; font-family: arial"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>"UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR" </span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #ff6600; font-family: arial"><br />Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response</span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #9933ff; font-family: arial">. <br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #ff6600; font-family: arial"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: blue; font-family: arial">"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"</span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #ff6600; font-family: arial"> <br />Translated: "What did you catch me at?" </span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #9933ff; font-family: arial"></span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #ff6600; font-family: arial"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: blue; font-family: arial">"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." </span><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: #ff6600; font-family: arial"><br />Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" dir="rtl" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left" align="right"><span dir="ltr" style="font-size: 18pt; color: red"><p><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e4c2e742.gif" /> </p></span></p>

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          • Umshahd
            عضو منتسب
            • Jan 2007
            • 159

            #6
            _MD_RE: Joke of the Day

            <font color="#ff0000" size="5"><strong>Why are men like computers??????</strong></font>

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            • #7
              Joke of the Day

              <p align="left"><font face="Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#660000" size="5"><strong>I read it somewhere, I guess it were, they don't work until you turn them on<br /><br /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e5e7563a.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e4c2e742.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e5e7563a.gif" /></strong></font></p>

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              • Umshahd
                عضو منتسب
                • Jan 2007
                • 159

                #8
                _MD_RE: Joke of the Day

                <strong><font size="5"><font color="#ff0000">According to lotsofjokes website They </font><font color="#ff0000"> and they always </font></font></strong>

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                • Umshahd
                  عضو منتسب
                  • Jan 2007
                  • 159

                  #9
                  _MD_RE: Joke of the Day

                  <strong><font size="5"><font color="#ff0000">According to lotsofjokes website They </font><font color="#ff0000"> and they always </font></font></strong>

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                  • #10
                    Joke of the Day

                    <p align="left"><font face="Verdana, Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#660000" size="5">You press it twice, you turn it off again</font><br /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e5e7563a.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e4c2e742.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e5e7563a.gif" /></p>

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                    • #11
                      Joke of the Day

                      <p align="left"><u><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: green; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma">HAPPINESS</span><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#ff00ff" size="2"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 10pt; color: fuchsia; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma"> </span></font></em></strong></u><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"></span></font></p><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"><div align="left"><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#008000" size="5"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: green; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma">To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.</span></font></em></strong><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"> </span></font><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#008000" size="5"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: green; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma"></span></font></em></strong></div><div align="left"><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#008000" size="5"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: green; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma"><br /><br /><br />To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. </span></font></em></strong><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"></span></font><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#008000" size="5"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: green; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma">______________________________</span></font></em></strong><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma">   </span></font></div></span></font>

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                      • #12
                        Joke of the Day

                        <p align="left"><u><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: green; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma">PROPENSITY TO CHANGE</span><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"></span></font></u></p><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"><div align="left"><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#008000" size="5"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: green; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma">A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. </span></font></em></strong><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"></span></font><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#008000" size="5"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: green; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma"><br /><br />A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.</span></font></em></strong><font face="Tahoma" size="1"> <span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"></span></font></div></span></font>

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                        • #13
                          Joke of the Day

                          <p align="left"><u><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma">DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE</span><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"></span></font></u></p><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"><div align="left"><br /><br /><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#000080" size="5"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma">A woman has the last word in any argument </span></font></em></strong><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"></span></font><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#000080" size="5"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; color: navy; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma">Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.</span></font></em></strong><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"><br /><br /><br /><br /> </span></font><strong><em><font face="Tahoma" color="#008080"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: teal; font-style: italic; font-family: tahoma">_____________________________ </span></font></em></strong><font face="Tahoma" size="1"><span style="font-size: 8.5pt; font-family: tahoma"></span></font></div></span></font>

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                          • Umshahd
                            عضو منتسب
                            • Jan 2007
                            • 159

                            #14
                            _MD_RE: Joke of the Day

                            <font color="#ff0000" size="5"><strong>According to lotsofjokes website They are clever and they always have enough memory.<br /><br /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4d8676346.gif" /></strong></font>

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                            • Umshahd
                              عضو منتسب
                              • Jan 2007
                              • 159

                              #15
                              _MD_RE: Joke of the Day

                              <strong><font color="#ff0000" size="5">why do men like clever women??????????</font></strong><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><font color="#3366ff" size="5"><strong>opposite attracts<img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e4c2e742.gif" /><img alt=" " src="http://www.wataonline.net/site/uploads/smil3dbd4e4c2e742.gif" /></strong></font>

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