كيف تتعامل الأسرة مع الابن العاق ؟
How should the family deal with a disobedient son?ç
واتهم أخته بالدعارة والزنا
and accuses his sister of promiscuity and adultery,
، وفضح شرف أسرته ؟
causes scandal for his family,
والتشاجر الدائم مع الضيف
and always argues with guests,
وسبه وشتمه
insulting them, reviling them
على الوالدين حسن تربية أولادهما
Parents should give their children a good upbringing
، والقيام عليهم
and take care of them
بما ينصلح به حالهم
so that they will be in a good state
في أمر دينهم وأمر دنياهم
in both religious and worldly affairs
فإذا نشأ الولد عاصيا عاقا ،
If a child grows up disobedient and rebellious,
فعلى الوالدين بذل المزيد من الجهد
then the parents must do more and try harder
لطلب هدايته واستقامته ،
to guide him and make him righteous
بتذكيره ونصحه وإرشاده ،
, by reminding him and advising him,
والصبر عليه ،
showing patience towards him,
والدعاء له ،
praying for him,
واختيار صحبة طيبة ،
choosing good friends for him
ومعارف صالحين
and choosing righteous acquaintances
فإذا زاد شر الولد
But if the son becomes worse
وعظم فساده ،
and the evil and trouble he causes increases,
كما ذكر في السؤال ،
as mentioned in the question,
ولم يفلح معه الوعظ والتأديب
and admonition and discipline do not succeed with him,
فالواجب أن ينهى عن منكره
then it is obligatory to denounce his evil
بكل ما أمكن ،
by all possible means,
بأن يهدد بالضرب ،
by threatening to hit him
أو يضرب فعلا ،
or actually hitting him,
أو يستعان عليه برجال العائلة ،
or seeking the help of other men in the family against him,
أو يرفع أمره إلى السلطات ،
or taking the matter to the authorities,
إن لم يمكن منع شره
if it is not possible to stop his evil
بما سبق بغير ذلك ،
by any of the other means mentioned
ولا ينبغي التساهل مع شره ،
His evil should not be taken lightly
أو التغاضي عنه ،
or be overlooked;
بل تقطع مادته قبل أن يستفحل ،
rather it should be stopped before it goes further
ويعظم ضرره .
and causes greater harm
وتذكيره بالله ترغيبا وترهيبا ،
reminding him of Allah, instilling hope and fear;
وأن تماديه في هذا المنكر الذي هو عليه
telling him that his committing this evil
سيبغضه إلى أهله
will make him hateful to his family
وجيرانه والناس من حوله ،
and neighbours and the people around him,
مع الإلحاح عليه في ذلك ،
and they should persist with him in that,
بلين الجانب والصبر
whilst being gentle and patient,
والحكمة والموعظة الحسنة
and using wisdom and beautiful preaching
وعلى إخوانه أن يجتهدوا في هذا السبيل ،
His brothers should try hard in that regard,
ويسلكوا معه مسالك الحكمة والروية ،
and use wisdom and patience with him,
ويعظوه باللين
exhorting him gently
، ولا يشتد عليه أحد في الكلام .
and not being harsh towards him in speech
وهجروه
and shunning him,
فلم يكلموه ولم يعاملوه ،
then they should not speak to him
or interact with him,
وهم في ذلك يرجون له من الله الصلاح
in the hope that Allah will set him straight,
ويدعون له بالهداية .
and they should keep praying to Him to guide him
فإن لم يرجع
But if he does not come back to his senses
واستمر على فساده
and he persists in his evil ways,
فإنه يبلغ عنه الجهات المختصة
then they should report him to the relevant authorities
وسلطات الأمن
and the security forces
التي تستطيع أن تكفه عن الشر والفساد ،
who can restrain him from doing evil
وتردعه عما هو عليه .
and deter him from what he is doing
ولا ينبغي أن يترك مع تماديه في هذا العدوان ؛
He should not be left to persist in this transgression,
لعظيم شره
because of the severity of his evil
وتوالي حصول الضرر من جهته لأهله وللناس من حوله .
and the harm that he may do to his family and the people around him
وفوق ذلك كله
Over and above all that,
فإن عامة تلك البلايا إنما تكون بسبب المعاصي
for most such calamities come about because of the sins
التي تجلب على أهل البيت الشر والفساد ،
that bring evil and corruption to the household
وهو يتكلم عن المخالفات الشرعية
when speaking about matters contrary to Islamic teaching
التي قد تقع من الزوجين أو أحدهما
that may be done by one or both spouses
" لا جرم أن التوفيق بينهما قل أن يقع ،
Undoubtedly reconciling between these spouses is very rare,
وإن دامت الألفة بينهما
and even if there is harmony between them,
فعلى دخن ،
it is not free of ills,
وإن قدر بينهما مولود
and if they happen to have a child,
فالغالب عليه إن نشأ العقوق ،
he will most likely grow up disobedient
وارتكاب ما لا ينبغي
and doing all manner of inappropriate things,
How should the family deal with a disobedient son?ç
واتهم أخته بالدعارة والزنا
and accuses his sister of promiscuity and adultery,
، وفضح شرف أسرته ؟
causes scandal for his family,
والتشاجر الدائم مع الضيف
and always argues with guests,
وسبه وشتمه
insulting them, reviling them
على الوالدين حسن تربية أولادهما
Parents should give their children a good upbringing
، والقيام عليهم
and take care of them
بما ينصلح به حالهم
so that they will be in a good state
في أمر دينهم وأمر دنياهم
in both religious and worldly affairs
فإذا نشأ الولد عاصيا عاقا ،
If a child grows up disobedient and rebellious,
فعلى الوالدين بذل المزيد من الجهد
then the parents must do more and try harder
لطلب هدايته واستقامته ،
to guide him and make him righteous
بتذكيره ونصحه وإرشاده ،
, by reminding him and advising him,
والصبر عليه ،
showing patience towards him,
والدعاء له ،
praying for him,
واختيار صحبة طيبة ،
choosing good friends for him
ومعارف صالحين
and choosing righteous acquaintances
فإذا زاد شر الولد
But if the son becomes worse
وعظم فساده ،
and the evil and trouble he causes increases,
كما ذكر في السؤال ،
as mentioned in the question,
ولم يفلح معه الوعظ والتأديب
and admonition and discipline do not succeed with him,
فالواجب أن ينهى عن منكره
then it is obligatory to denounce his evil
بكل ما أمكن ،
by all possible means,
بأن يهدد بالضرب ،
by threatening to hit him
أو يضرب فعلا ،
or actually hitting him,
أو يستعان عليه برجال العائلة ،
or seeking the help of other men in the family against him,
أو يرفع أمره إلى السلطات ،
or taking the matter to the authorities,
إن لم يمكن منع شره
if it is not possible to stop his evil
بما سبق بغير ذلك ،
by any of the other means mentioned
ولا ينبغي التساهل مع شره ،
His evil should not be taken lightly
أو التغاضي عنه ،
or be overlooked;
بل تقطع مادته قبل أن يستفحل ،
rather it should be stopped before it goes further
ويعظم ضرره .
and causes greater harm
وتذكيره بالله ترغيبا وترهيبا ،
reminding him of Allah, instilling hope and fear;
وأن تماديه في هذا المنكر الذي هو عليه
telling him that his committing this evil
سيبغضه إلى أهله
will make him hateful to his family
وجيرانه والناس من حوله ،
and neighbours and the people around him,
مع الإلحاح عليه في ذلك ،
and they should persist with him in that,
بلين الجانب والصبر
whilst being gentle and patient,
والحكمة والموعظة الحسنة
and using wisdom and beautiful preaching
وعلى إخوانه أن يجتهدوا في هذا السبيل ،
His brothers should try hard in that regard,
ويسلكوا معه مسالك الحكمة والروية ،
and use wisdom and patience with him,
ويعظوه باللين
exhorting him gently
، ولا يشتد عليه أحد في الكلام .
and not being harsh towards him in speech
وهجروه
and shunning him,
فلم يكلموه ولم يعاملوه ،
then they should not speak to him
or interact with him,
وهم في ذلك يرجون له من الله الصلاح
in the hope that Allah will set him straight,
ويدعون له بالهداية .
and they should keep praying to Him to guide him
فإن لم يرجع
But if he does not come back to his senses
واستمر على فساده
and he persists in his evil ways,
فإنه يبلغ عنه الجهات المختصة
then they should report him to the relevant authorities
وسلطات الأمن
and the security forces
التي تستطيع أن تكفه عن الشر والفساد ،
who can restrain him from doing evil
وتردعه عما هو عليه .
and deter him from what he is doing
ولا ينبغي أن يترك مع تماديه في هذا العدوان ؛
He should not be left to persist in this transgression,
لعظيم شره
because of the severity of his evil
وتوالي حصول الضرر من جهته لأهله وللناس من حوله .
and the harm that he may do to his family and the people around him
وفوق ذلك كله
Over and above all that,
فإن عامة تلك البلايا إنما تكون بسبب المعاصي
for most such calamities come about because of the sins
التي تجلب على أهل البيت الشر والفساد ،
that bring evil and corruption to the household
وهو يتكلم عن المخالفات الشرعية
when speaking about matters contrary to Islamic teaching
التي قد تقع من الزوجين أو أحدهما
that may be done by one or both spouses
" لا جرم أن التوفيق بينهما قل أن يقع ،
Undoubtedly reconciling between these spouses is very rare,
وإن دامت الألفة بينهما
and even if there is harmony between them,
فعلى دخن ،
it is not free of ills,
وإن قدر بينهما مولود
and if they happen to have a child,
فالغالب عليه إن نشأ العقوق ،
he will most likely grow up disobedient
وارتكاب ما لا ينبغي
and doing all manner of inappropriate things,
تعليق